Humans are the only animals that date.

There we go. Do you ever see a pigeon flying up to another pigeon saying, "I'll meet you at Central Park at noon?" or "I really like how your feathers look today?" or "I think we should see other pigeons?" No.

So, being that humans are the only animals that (so one would hope) go through a dating ritual before they go through a mating ritual, why is it that nobody dates anymore?

I've had about every kind of "date" in college, but never a real date. The closest thing I had to a date was having my professor pay for my coffee, but I was so sleep-deprived and delirious, I didn't even notice. I had a bunch of "hanging out" dates. Note to boys: hanging out is not a date.

I've been on endless walks, lunches (note to boys: lunch = friendship; dinner = romance), gambols, whatever you can imagine, but is it so hard to ask me out on a real date? College makes everything a million times more casual, and I like that. But I miss the whole, "Pick you up at 8" thing.

Does anyone go on real dates anymore? Do you feel dating is too undefined and casual, and wish it was a little more clear-cut?

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I was hanging out with a guy friend a while back and he clearly had ulterior intentions. He dimmed the lights and suggested we watch a movie. Okay, I know what that means.

While looking for the movie, he put on some music. Random music, he said. All of a sudden, Barry Manilow was coming through the soundspeakers. I tried hard to hold back laughter, but seriously? Barry Manilow? Why don't we just put on Marvin Gaye's, "Let's Get It On?"

He saw that I was not feeling his musical selection, so he switched to the Bee Gees. "More than a woman; more than a woman to me." Okay, now things were getting really bad.

I know boys have makeout soundtracks, but he was definitely misinformed in his choice of music. The tempo was correct, but the tone was way too obvious.

So, I ask you Xangans, what is good makeout music? Are there any artists or albums you prefer to get the mood right?

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My friend was dating this boy, and he asked if she ever discussed their relationship with her girlfriends. She tried hard to keep a straight face as she reassured him that she didn't.

Of course girls talk about guys. That's often all girls talk about.

I read this Times entry recently about how female conversation can be toxic, as girls communicate so often and analyze so much that they end up with really negative feelings. I cannot recount the endless conversations I had with my friends where we envisioned every single possible reason for why the guy didn't call. I wanted to be the a-hole who said, "He's just not that into you!," but instead, I kept quiet as my friends assured her that his relatives from Zimbabwe came for a surprise visit, and he just didn't have the time to reach her.

I agree, obsessing is toxic.

In college, I found myself having more and more guy friends. If you're hanging around boys all the time, it's harder to complain about them.

I asked one of these guy friends how many conversations a day he and his friends had about girls. He said one or two. When he asked me the same question, I said that there would only be one or two conversations among my friends not related to the opposite sex.

He started laughing, but I find that extremely problematic. I love my girl friends and they do understand me far better than most boys do, but I'm kind of sick and tired of talking about relationships. Surely other things exist, and what happens when your relationship is going well? What do you talk about then?

So, ladies, how many conversations a day do you have about guys? Gentleman, how many conversations a day do you have about the ladies? Do you think that too much talk is toxic?